helpless i cry
released early 1999 on now we must records
none left

blinkered / lie down and die / blunt / worship / eat my heart out / everyone is guilty / prowess / blurring lines / ending the trend / ugly / stand

wouldn't your life be so much easier if i was to get up and go away? wouldn't ignorance be so much simpler if i didn't challenge you every day? but i will hold your head in water, i will make you feel guilty, until you link action and reaction, accept responsibility. because i have chosen this path, i have taken this way through my life because every moral i had pushed it on me. blinkered = dead [uninquisitiveness is a chain, to succeed in this world is to fail, it's not a question, it's a cause, at least i know what i am fighting for]. if unknowing of your ignorance then you have reason to submit, but once informed of what you're helping, morals point you should desist. lack of time is not an option, to be aware is to need to change. you cannot escape because you consider the solution to be strange. and i will not be ignored any longer. i will not fade, i will not fucking be blinkered. change your way of life.
[go home]

lie down and die
it starts again, i know i've nothing left to show for every other time i opened up. this time it's not the same - i say that every time and somehow always end up falling flat. for every time i scratched the skin it gets harder to step in. i couldn't hate you if i tried. i think i'll just lie down and die. i'm running out of cliff to grasp, and she is such a higher class, i'm running out of things to hold, i'm too cold [and i can only beg]. maybe it's selfish, but i need a standpoint, i need something to hold onto, but i'm scared to ask you - you're too perfect. if i'm sleeping, please don't stop to wake me, i'm enjoying dreams of what i see smiling here before me. i've broken everything i do, but i'd be more careful with you. i couldn't hate you if i tried. i think i'll just lie down and die.
[go home]

there may be a new breed, second to none, coming up, but we must stand as one. we cannot reject what has come before - we must learn from the past of hradcore. i hear of violence in salt lake city. violent sXe, no tolerance = no pity. we cannot forget why we gather here - i thought hardcore would expel the fear. how could you so completely misunderstand something so fundamental? we must all unify, or at least fucking try, but how can i unify with a bigot in hardcore clothes? afterbirth of society - this is not what that means. there's no point in unifying for a skateboard in the face. old school, new school, hardcore, emocore, what are these divisions for, do they serve any purpose other than to hurt us and to divide hardcore inside? i hear of violence in city salt lake, violent sXe you're a fucking fake. iut's not hardcore, it's an excuse to fight, dumbing us down in everybody's sight. [it means so much to me] do you consider yourself hardcore? you can't touch me.
[go home]

the soul is gone from our dream all too soon, and i have laid my hands on every goal. so many dead, you would have thought we'd learn by now that the pinnacle is lower than all. fiction is a lie that media presents, a silver cloud of objects. all attained, grasping hands pass on through because there's nothing there. she is strong and moves along, the television granite. he master will not answer now, just a mirage. every time we try we fail. illsuion has pitfalled the path, sapping everything away, nothing will filter back. all our tears fall to the kitchen floor. the linoleum will not absorb. so we slip and slide in the afterbirth of greed, and so we fall to our knees. crouched as if in worship, your god is empty.
[go home]

eat my heart out
no more fake, here's what i feel. anger, at being so stupid to fall head first to dust once again, tasting your drug in my mouth, i clamp my eyes shut. betrayal at giving a part of myself, paid back in sweat, spit and ink. crumple, discard like a sheat - i thought i was more than that. what is the point in trying to be myself if this is my only reward? but i know that i'll never change, and this is what hurts me the most. you say that thy aren't but what if others like you are the same? you're the man, i'm the victim. dominate, ignore, you just turned it around. but how could so much change with just one turn of folded page. i'm so scared i'll crack, scared i'll just go crawling back. broken everything, every promise that i made. lying to me, convince me that i can still care. i change, you fade, unsure whether i can touch another person ever again [i am losing all my faith in my friends]. you know who you are - betray. lick your lips clean of me, chew me up, spit me out, eat my heart out.
[go home]

everyone is guilty
we're all washed up, we have lost every resource or quality that we could claim to be proud of. and don't you feel that the air tastes a little thicker, the water makes you feel sick. the sun will burn through your closed eyes. the womb that bore us, now we rape. i turn my dry face to the sky and wait for rain but i can't drink. waters brown with corpses burn my tongue so i can't speak. waves lap at my feet and burn at me all away so i can't walk. beggin, praying for relief, but i can't stop. pass this on to infants, not yet standing tall, make them pay for your deeds, for a chance to breathe. all these comfort will go on after you and spoil for others a universal gift. pass it on again, throw the bomb away. but somebody will hold it when it goes off. damage limitation is limited to failure, things must change [we can change it]. as we run on blistered concrete, more must change. we're the ones who set up these towers, this must change. we're the ones who will pull them down, all must change, we can change it all. but i'm guilty. everyone is guilty, everyone can make a change.
[go home]

could you forgive me for my lack of majesty? i cannot add airs to anything i do. i'm sorry i won't lie, sorry i won't stake by pride, not pride in my manhood - valuing achievements good. if i dull expectation, sorry for due frustration. i don't need pretence to be my best, i don't need it to be honest. i have no need to prove what i already know to someone i don't care for. i'll be whatever i am, stay true to what's inside, won't pander to opinion. is this how far we've come? we stand so fucking proud of the world we have fostered, loveless. every day concerned with perceptions and opinions on the strength of prowess. is it so fucking strange that i refuse to change to suit your narrow scope? i'll be whatever i am, and if that's nothing of a man, you can fucking cope.
[go home]

blurring lines
paralysed, but adamant to intimidation, i will not be scared by your own suppressive fear. i conform when that reflects me, not your opinion of quality. so go your way and believe what you want, as long as you don't push misunderstanding on me. but if you choose to inflict your narrowness on others do not expect tolerance of what you are - a bigot. i can't find any other words to describe what you are, hypocrite. maybe we should consider blurring the lines between sexes a little bit more, or at least stop being so hostile to those among us who decide to choose that path. i could never fathom why colour of skin should provide such a barrier to reason, or whether i'm mail or female should affect your judgement of me. the right to exist was never yours to bestow, so why do you think you can take it away? i won't submit.
[go home]

ending the trend
i try so hard to satisfy, i boycott, you do not try. just sit back and criticize (and die). intravenous media sucked us dry. the mainstream submit - they didn't even try. that's where we're different - we stand apart, we don't exist within, we try a fresh start. i won't condemn unconditionally the music and culture of conformity. but i have examined and i have learned that i have to fight this on my own terms. sink down to the underground, beatdown to find out the sole of the music. for we must find the sole of the music. i'm not sure quite what you expect from them if you fail to reject - anonymity? plain respect? not yet. your trend is at an end and mine will never die.
[go home]

if my sole purpose was smiling sweetly for the lens, i couldn't face myself each day. and maybe it's just me, but i've higher aspirations that prostituting myself away. i'm not beautiful but i still hold my head high. i won't bend before i die. i can't believe that you don't feel a little empty as you stare blankly back at me. did you ever achieve anything at all by placing value on what you see? is it so hard to understand? what we have here cannot be explained away as the fashion of the day. the dust has settled and we still remain.
[go home]

at the back of my mind, i can't help but guess that i would be more contect if i did less. i'll always fail in finding my feet. surely it's easier if failure's complete? but i cannot back down. these hands have failed, i am undershadowed and shown up. every day is a fight and a step forward, but i falter and then i'm falling back again. ground level is a realtive failing. i need something to catch me when i fall. when i stumble you are my support. when i back down, you pick me up again. i couldn't stand without you by my side. give me your hands. where are our past glories? where have they gone? i'm sorry, i'm just trying to say thankyou.
[go home]